Love or Lust

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Love vs Lust. It is a big question in this day and age where I believe that people put more faith in lust then they do in love. In today’s society people go very easily from person to person. Within a few days of being with someone all you hear is ‘oh I love him so much’. What people don’t realise is that this is not love. people believe that they are in love when they aren’t. I can say now that I am not perfect. In my younger days I told people I loved them when I probably really didn’t. For me it was a pressure thing. only about 3 times have I said ‘I love you’ first. Most of the time the guy has said it to me and just out of pressure I have said it a couple of days later. Most relationships don’t last these days because after the honeymoon period people struggle to see past the imperfections that make a person who they are and rather then accept them they just move onto the next person. It’s a cycle. I think it also comes from that fact that in this day and age people don’t like to be alone. Be it they miss the cuddles, they don’t like the silence at night or they just don’t feel complete without someone there. They get into relationships fast and believe that it is love when they are really in lust or even just will be with anyone for the company. This I believe is toxic. Love is about giving your whole raw self out there. It’s funny because I lived in Queensland with my Aunt for a time before I had my son. We then had a falling out but have since gotten over that falling out and are speaking again. When I saw her at my sisters wedding last year it was a bit emotional but she said to me she remembered one thing I said to her once and it really stuck with her. That advice is that you need to be happy with yourself and love yourself before you can let others into your life. If you do not love yourself then how are you supposed to let other people to love you.

So what is Love and Lust to me? Lust is the initial chemical reaction when you meet someone and there is an attraction between the 2 of you. Lust is that honeymoon stage where the person you are with can do no wrong and is perfect in your eyes. What happens next is Love. Love is when you start seeing a person’s imperfections and instead of them annoying you and getting on your nerves you accept them as the persons little quirks. Love is sacrifice, cares more about the other person then themselves, it doesn’t try to chance the person, it compromises not gives ultimatums. Real love is something that happens once or for some twice in a lifetime. Love is real.

What is Love and Lust to you? Are you or have you ever really been in Love?

All my friends are geting married or having babies and I’m just eating cake.

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So I have noticed lately that all my friends are starting new relationships, getting engaged/married or having kids. Last year my sister got married, I have had my cousin and a really good friend of mine get engaged, 3 good friends are currently pregnant and another few are planning on trying soon. Not to mention heaps of single friends are in relationships. And I’m just sitting here eating cake. As you all know I am a single mum. I have my son 100% of the time and in the past few years I have had the people who I used to have look after my son once a month to just give me some time to be myself move away. So I don’t get out much. In fact the only time I get out is when there is a major event on and I book a sitter at least a month in advance. I’m happily single. Most of the time. I have my moments when it would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to in bed who doesn’t kick or sleep sideways that I can cuddle up to. I would love to have my special day and get all dressed up and be pretty and cry and be in love. My son would love a baby brother or sister and asks me quite often if he can have one. But in saying that I have been a single mum for almost 5 years now. I have dated a couple of times. nothing serious though. The idea of changing the way that I do things is scary. My son has had me to himself for the last 5 years. It would be a massive change for him to have someone come into our life and have to share his mum. To be honest I really don’t want to have to do that to him. I have gotten to the point that I know my son will never really have someone who he can call dad. I have had friends who are lucky and have met someone while their child is still young so they know their partner as dad. It does make me sad. But there isn’t much I can do about it. I foray into online dating every now and again. But in all honesty I am as happy as I am going to get. I have a beautiful son who I love and cake for and great friends for when I get the chance to have a night off from being a mum. So for now that will do and I will just sit here and eat my cake while everyone else in my life moves forward to the next chapter of their life.