So I am in need of a rant today. I am sick with a cold that my son shared with me and that in turn means I am emotional. I was thinking about friends today and how much I have helped them. I am one of those people who will try and help anyone who asks me in anyway that I can. This also means that I have been taken advantage of many times. It’s not fun. I have lent people money (all who earn more then me) only to have them not pay it back. When it comes to presents I always spend way more then others. Why because I believe that they are worth it sadly others do not feel the same. Not only that but if I ask for help I will always offer something in return if I can (mainly fuel money if I can). I was going through my phone today and realised I have some people who I think of as quite good friends and I haven’t heard from them in more then a month. Some I understand and there has been good reason for it. Others though I haven’t. Why because I refuse to ask for help from them because they always need something in return for it. I have had some friends who are awesome who ask for nothing and will help me in any way possible even at short notice. These are people I call real friends. Now I know I am not the most sociable person I struggle with small talk these days. they joys of being a single mum and not having the chance for small talk often means that I have gotten little patience for it these days. But I have great friends who understand that. At the moment I have a bunch of friends who I can go often without talking to but when we catch up it is great. We never push for anything and it’s nice. Other friends I have they feel the need to talk about all their problems and while I am happy to lend an ear every now and again they just don’t’ seem to get that sometimes I really don’t want to hear their problems as I am having some of my own. This to me has destroyed friendships. The only thing I can do is just to not ask for help (which I have started doing) and be very thankful for the friends I do have because they are wonderful and I do love them and try to get the toxic people out of my life (which I have started doing and finding out who my real friends are has been a very interesting thing).
Do you ever have days where your not well and just want to have a rant?
OK I will admit. I am an online dater. I have been for a while. When I say a while I mean for about 14 years I have been in and out of the world of online dating. Yep since I was 18 I have been looking online for love. I’m not ashamed of it. So how has my luck been? I have met some great guys and made some friends. It has been a bit of a mixed bag. I can safely say that I have never met anyone who I don’t feel comfortable with and I always go with my gut feeling. I follow all of the rules when it it comes to online dating. I don’t give out too much information straight away, I never tell them where I live and when we do the first meet it is always in a public place. Like I said I have been very lucky in that I haven’t met any looneys or such. There have been a few guys where I have gotten a bit funny about but the perks of online dating are that I have been able to cut of all contact with them. My first kiss was a guy that I had met online! How scary is that! Back when I was 16 I was the first of pretty much everyone with an internet connection. This guy was 15 and from Perth. I have no idea how we even got talking but it turned out that he was heading to my home town for a motor-cross thing and we decided to catch up. He was a lovely guy. His parents picked me up and we went to the movies. We saw the second Austin powers movie and that is where my first kiss happened! we kept in contact for a while but the distance was a bit too much. We found each other on Facebook a while ago and had a chat. It was good to catch up with him. Some of the people I have met and dated online have turned out to become quite good friends. I have a guy I met online and dated back when I was 19 who is still a good friend of mine and even became friends with some of my family who I still talk to today. Most recently I have been talking to guys online as a way to meet new people. Also to see if maybe I can find love. Being a single mum who has full time care of her child means that I don’t actually get out a lot. I probably go out a few times a year and they are for events so I don’t get the chance to meet guys the normal way. In the last few years I have met a few guys. Nothing of course that has tipped my fancy but there have been some. You never know one day I might find the love of my life online. I can say both my mum and dad found love online as well as a few other of my family members. So one day it might happen!
Have you ever online dated? Had any good or bad experiences? I would love to hear about them.
Just like guys have a ‘bro code’ there is also a code between girls about what you should and shouldn’t do. I personally believe in these things and while I may have broken one or two of them there are a few that I would never even consider breaking. I have lost friends because of the sister code. It is sad that for many people the sister code doesn’t mean anything because I know first hand how badly it can destroy friendships. So here is my sisterhood code that I try to follow.
- Do not flirt with your friends boyfriend and by no means fall for him.
- If you and your friend like the same guy it falls to the rule of who saw him first. It does not matter if he does not care for the one who saw him first. You need to have the blessing of your friend before you proceed if you did not have first dibs.
- Unless your friend has said it is ok then you do not flirt or date your friends brother. This ruins friendships. Just don’t do it.
- Do not make your friends choose a side if you are fighting with another. It turns out bad and you may never get your friend back. ( I am lucky. Most of my life I have had my 2 best friends really dislike each other. They put up with each other for my sake. Yeah I had to deal with a bit of bitching but if it got too much then I would just say to them to stop.)
- If a friend tells you a secret then keep it. Do not tell other people. Same goes for things said in confidence. Sometimes you might have a bitch about another friend. Do not go back and tell that friend. This is the main thing that causes friendships to break down I believe.
- Don’t meddle with a friends relationship. It’s just not on. A relationship should only be between the people who are in it.
- Do not date your friends ex unless you have their permission. The best rule of thumb is wait at least 6 months for any relationship over 3 months or 3 for relationships under 3 months. Make sure they are fairly well over them before you ask. If they say no respect their wishes. Do not go behind their back.
- When you meet someone new, either a new friend or a new boy friend, don’t neglect your old friends. Yes it’s fun to meet someone new but just remember who has been there since the start.
- Be there for your friends if they need you. Be that shoulder to cry on. Even if you don’t know what to say just be someone who will listen.
- If someone is hanging sh*t and teasing your friend, back her up. It doesn’t matter if you cop it for backing her up. She is your friend. She doesn’t deserve it.
- Probably the most important rule of all that so many people forget these days CHICKS BEFORE DICKS.
Do you have a sisterhood code? Is there anything else that you would add to the list?